Interpersonal communication
Interpersonal communication as defined by DeVito (2004). is " Communication that takes place between persons who have an established relationship; the people are in some way connected." Indeed, relationship is the most influential factor influencing our communication with others. It reinforces the dynamic properties of human interaction.
Thus, DeFleur et al (2005) has created a framework of 3 processes to define the role of communication in relationships, there are:
However, many a times we cannot base on our first impression on getting to know someone because then we will be judgmental which a successful communicator should not be. Moreover, people we may dislike initially might eventually become one of your best friends. Take myself for an example, the good friends I have now are more or less acquaintance whom I do not really like in the very beginning of our friendship. Hence, even though our first contact with a person may be negative or may be positive, management of the relationship comes next whereby it determines whether or not this start of the interpersonal relationship will continue or will end.
Triple murder in Yishun
(click to enlarge =))
http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Courts%2Band%2BCrime/Story/STIStory_280569.html?vgnmr=1
The recent breaking about the triple murder in Yishun where
Two women dead from multiple wounds
Another woman is found dead at the bottom of block
A man has been arrested
This clearly shows the communication between these people have gone wrong. They have not manage the relationship effectively thus, resulting in deaths which is very unfortunate. As taken from the straits time, 20 September 2008., "loud quarrels and sounds of furniture being thrown were a near nightly occurrence." shows evidence for my statement made.
This leads to the third process in which DeFleur et at said about disengagement where there is a use of communication to dissolve a relationship. In this case, the murder had used non verbal communication to indicate an end of the relationship between the women and him(the suspected muderer).
All said, this framework indeed shows us the role of communication in relationships. Life is fragile, thus it is vital that everyone of us learn to be a successful communicator in order not to end up in a fight and result in outcomes that no one would want or expect of.
Thus, DeFleur et al (2005) has created a framework of 3 processes to define the role of communication in relationships, there are:
- Engagement
- Management
- Disengagement
However, many a times we cannot base on our first impression on getting to know someone because then we will be judgmental which a successful communicator should not be. Moreover, people we may dislike initially might eventually become one of your best friends. Take myself for an example, the good friends I have now are more or less acquaintance whom I do not really like in the very beginning of our friendship. Hence, even though our first contact with a person may be negative or may be positive, management of the relationship comes next whereby it determines whether or not this start of the interpersonal relationship will continue or will end.
Triple murder in Yishun
(click to enlarge =))http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Courts%2Band%2BCrime/Story/STIStory_280569.html?vgnmr=1
The recent breaking about the triple murder in Yishun where
This clearly shows the communication between these people have gone wrong. They have not manage the relationship effectively thus, resulting in deaths which is very unfortunate. As taken from the straits time, 20 September 2008., "loud quarrels and sounds of furniture being thrown were a near nightly occurrence." shows evidence for my statement made.
This leads to the third process in which DeFleur et at said about disengagement where there is a use of communication to dissolve a relationship. In this case, the murder had used non verbal communication to indicate an end of the relationship between the women and him(the suspected muderer).
All said, this framework indeed shows us the role of communication in relationships. Life is fragile, thus it is vital that everyone of us learn to be a successful communicator in order not to end up in a fight and result in outcomes that no one would want or expect of.
posted by Chloe at
6:28 PM
10 Comments:
The disengagement stage is the reason behind so many tragedies that plagues the history of mankind. When done poorly, it leads to hatred and revenge. Thus, it is important to know that this stage is a very important stage that should be carefully dealt with.
ooh... you didn't like your bf at first? juicy news, must tell me!
with regard to the Yishun murders, there is more than a lack of communication which lead to the deaths.
saying something positive is an action, saying something negative is an action. saying nothing at all, is also an action in itself.
I agree with Zed. Remember, even silence is communication. I am very sure the Yishun murders are due to much more than miscommunication.
The problem with 1st impressions is that the information one gets is very superficial. There is only so much info one can get from physical appearance.
There are also types of people who do not open up easily. However, once they do, they can become very friendly people.
Unfortunately, we tend to judge people based on our 1st impressions so we may end up thinking that that person is unsociable and proud, while in truth he may just be shy.
All in all, we should refrain from judging people until we get a clearer profile of that person from subsequent meetings,
It's so difficult to assume that we, having heard about communication theories and the potential pitfalls, will be able to handle and manage whatever relationships that come our way. Relationships are between people, and yes when we seek to groom this relationship we will try our best to communicate. But alas the "meeting of minds" can never be fully met, and as individual minds we underago a barrage of other influences and social factors. Human beings are so dynamic, and relationships are always under all sorts of stress. We will try our best to communicate, but unfortunately, we're still our own people. Disagreements, arguments, unhappiness... when one person actually decides he has dominion over another, and thinks he can take the life of another human being... it's something else talking altogether. Communication has been thrown out of the window.
You may be right in the sense that lack of communication in little steps along the way, may eventually have accumulated to a stage where relations are irreparable. It is tragical. Sometimes, in the beginning, someone may have even refused to listen, or engage properly or meaningfully. I don't know why, but it just seems like an inevitable aspect of life. Yes, i feel resigned to this sad state of human affairs.
One shld endeavour to have a two way communication & listen actively to what a person says..being sensitive to one's body language is also important. . Guess in our culture, where people are so used to speaking thru msn/sms we tend to disregard the importance of face to face communication, unlike the olden times ...people are less patient with each other and we often 'jump into conclusion' & say words without thinking through . .
wah..very cheem eh. But ya la, you're right. 1st impressions are usually boh zhun wan.. haa..And the murders, whalow eh...that prc man is power, singlehandedly killed so many pple eh... scary sia...~
Hey!Amos here! It is indeed scary that relationships that start of well can end up it such a tragedy. I believe in all of us, we unconsciously know certain communication theories although we may not even notice. Most theories are basically acquired through life's daily experiences through the constant interaction between 2 people. However as we can see from this example that such skills if not handled properly or if an individual does not take into account that different people from different social-cultural back grounds perceive things differently from themselves then such disastrous consequences would occur. As human beings we are all entitled to emotions and when we tie emotions to how we communicate, sometimes things might get a little out of hand. It is always wise to be rational, logical in thought and speech rather than recklessly emotional. :)
Thank you Anthony for delivering my message across more explicitly. Yes, humans by nature tend to take things as they are and make very little effort in compromising each other. As time goes by, what was thought to be a small matter has evolved into something bigger and more serious. In instances whereby arguments get more than just heated, there would be undesirable outcomes. A very sad reality that all of us have to accept and prevent.
Thus, i agree with Amos we should always stay "rational, logical in thought and speech rather than recklessly emotional."
Yes Zed you really like these kind of "juicy" news right=p
Definitely, the yishun murders would have something more than just the lack of communication.
But, how do we even start to have a conflict? It is by communication. Thus, whatever the outcome of the conflict will be, communication plays a large role in it.
Our non-verbal communication plays a role in the kind of tone we use in the argument and facial expressions, as well as body language.
Verbal communication consist of the language we use. The context is very important.
Hence, i would say that in a way, the managing of the communication is not well done. And that's why it leads to the death of 3 other people.
referring to the yishun case, its scary how miscommunication can lead to death.and in this case it led to more than one death.
thus i agree with kaisiang that it is important to know that this stage of a relationship should be dealt with very carefully.
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